It has been a while since last we spoke. A lot going on behind the scenes. Retail!? has slowed down, maybe this week I can make more progress. I’ve been streaming on twitch, might change to a different venue later on, I don’t know how streaming to multiple sites works, at the same time Twitch.tv has deleted a LOT of my previous content. I assume that is normal behavior. There might be a limit to how much they will save until they delete it all. Don’t want to save it on youtube for obvious reasons, there are other avenues I am sure. This isn’t a few years ago.
Real Life work is busy. After this post I will be doing that for a few hours tonight. The age of transitions has begun, and perhaps in time, by the end of the year I will be confident to take out a business loan and take over the business. I do plan on making Schwofield into a business. I also have plans for an NPO as well, that might not be until the end of the year as well.
Synthetic Wisdom is still slow, but I am learning to do with whilst sober, streaming is good, it is teaching me a lot about my self, like the fact I do not hate or despise video games, I just have no desire to play them. With Medical Marijuana its easy to ignore the internal cry for self improvement, it doesn’t block it, it just is another expense that is not necessary. My time with psychedelics is over; I am trying to join a church, but even with my studies into Judaism, not a single Church wants to accept me, nor does the Hebrew Faith. It’s sad, that Faith (in God\Hashem) is not enough for someone like me to be accepted, so many years, over a decade of going to Church alone. Looking for a wife as well, to start a family, to be much more masculine. I am working out more, also super organized my office and home.
Now I am trying again, to set an appropriate schedule. Would love to stream math in the morning. I wanted to “learn” programming and that whole AI business, but there is not enough time, and I have quite a but of negative feedback to deal with, part of being human is dealing with baggage from the past. That is why my streams are also about reinforcing the ideas of focus and being able to accomplish what I once thought was impossible. Yes, I am not an artist at the master level of Krahulik or Waterson, even Adams or Straub\Kurtz\Guigar\Kellet, the 4 Horsemen of my Comic-pocalypse. Krahulik will have a special place, he is akin to my Jesus the Christ, and of course my Abraham(Elohim) has to be a collective of the comics I read in the funny pages whilst growing up. Especially Waterson. So many artists, I would love to name them all. The writers helped a great deal as I still struggle with my writing and drawing, art in general.
21 almost 22 years of Existentialism, my internal bread and butter. I have nothing to show (you) the fruits of that labor, and most of that research is gone, stolen, or buried in time. As it was.
I did copy my movie script off my writers laptop, might set it up again, my office\”studio” does not have the space for (one) more piece of equipment. It’s full, and I try to use everything. There is a keyboard in here now; I would like to learn, a touch it a few times, wanting to hook it up to my PC, see what I can record. Going to need a mixer….. see how it never ends? I moved my guitar out of my office, if I had the time, I would learn it all, but my music friend is dead, and with it any desire I had to learn to play an instrument. Perhaps, after I turn Schwofield into a business and get Retail!? moving I will do a bit more, learn to make music for the game… I don’t know. There is not enough time to do it all.
I still have my “spiritual” work that is being accomplished. Not too many masculine performances, but I need to be more masculine. I must do this all alone as my kind is hated by that which currently control the tech and media companies, and it seeks to divide and destroy humanity, there are so many good people in this world. They are under orders not to be good. So I\we pray for . If I could I would type to you forever, dear reader. I do love you, and want you to realize how special you are to me, even though we could never meet. Or should never meet, nor will ever meet. We are to be divided, but you are not alone. I do not want to give up, sometimes I am afraid and sad, and feel alone, but not all the times. Just reminding you that I am a human, we are human, and our work is for a better tomorrow, we mustn’t give up, even when our leaders are wicked tyrants. Their time is coming to an end. It is not just a promise, but the result of (our) work.
We are the forces of Good and Light; Order. Love and Kindness and Understanding are ours. We wish to share this good news and our God with the world, and in time, the fruit will ripen and there shall be no more hunger. I must go now… to work! A big day tomorrow, and I am full of anxiety regarding it. I shouldn’t be, but the first is always the hardest, and this is necessary for growth. Failure and Fear are necessary for evolution and adaptation. The world leaders and their slaves want to destroy us, not because they hate us, or our God, but because they are afraid of us, and covet what they can seem to never have. That is what they tell themselves. That they will never be like us, good and vying for Virtue, but they are misguided, mislead, abused, lost, broken, full of fear and terror. They run away from God(Hashem) because they do not want to be in fixed. They want to be empty, yet we, the Sons and Daughters of God wish only for ourselves, our loved ones, and all of humanity (cosmos) to
Remain in Light.