I grapple with the “idea” of spirituality as much as the next person, but from what I have seen and understood, that the idea of demons/angels/entities/energies and what not(s) are not necessary to the search for Truth. What must happen is that upon discovery of certain “internal” conundrums, a name has to be give to it, because giving something a name is the step to understanding the entirety of a thing, especially if that name were apt. It’s fun to examine naming things when it comes to people or pets, I do know genetics and environment play a good deal in development, but what if the name were the core of the individual? After all, Jesus is just a name, and a teacher once told me that Je Sus, is french for I Am, which would make sense. Look at Jesus the Christ’s manner of speech and how he lived his life, trying to empower people, by taking the reigns into their own hands so to speak. There have been others like Him, other in the Anointed Ones (Christos), otherwise the story becomes to narrow on a few things rather that then true purpose which is on humanity.


How can I be sure that was Jesus the Christ’s true mission? Because of how he did it, I am also convinced that Jesus had depression and hermitsized himself into something humanity needed. Judaism at its core if beautiful and wonderful, with what little I do have on the Torah and Judaism, it sparkles and glows in my mind (but not my true Light mind you), which would hopefully explain AhavahOlam, that is my best answer for it. I do not condemn any religion for existing if its True purpose is aligned with the proper Relgions, which are all right to exist, we all have equal right to exist, because proverbs tells us that God created both the Light and the Dark, or you could say existence and _______. Which would make sense, because in getting to know that which created Us,we have to deal with those two barriers, which in relative terms means me must come to some sort of agreement within to deal with the without. In going outside and testing our internal balance, we may see that even though at times it teeters and totters heavily from one side to another and sometimes even gets stuck. Exiting the situation and realizing that having a broken balance is better than not having a balance at all.


As my studies into Jesus the Christ have also continued, I am also reminded that most of what the Church and even my beloveds the Gnostics have forgotten is that if Jesus the Christ is going to be the foundation of the church, the people do not need anything else, if you have to put your drama onto the people, than you have already lost your mission. I lose every day which I go to work, so I understand, I am not better than the church, I’m just in a better position to fix my greater evil my “self”, rather than an institution of individuals who are also fighting the same greater evils and institutional “evils”. So the moral of the story is that if we all fix each other first, then we can fix the world. Health insurance would help, but because of things beyond my control, I cannot have it, in the mean time I must train my mental illnesses to seek out the Truth above all else. Ravage me along the way to feed, that is fine, just keep me alive with suffering until I reach my goal. This is why I am alone and ruin potential relationships, because I am not alone, I am never alone. All of that helps me create, which might be sin in the philosophers world, I am not too sure. What I do know is that philosophers do not like me, and that everything I create adds fuel to the fire of their condemnation.


I do not care. I am being full of passions, emotions, life, and I love to cook and dance. Finding mysticism has turned up the heat, but I will just expel more energy until all of the dross is burned away. Thanks Father, that which Created me, I am still wallowing deep in this depression, but at least I got to write this blog and exercise my free will.


Still workin on the script, I have to run! Oh and good luck in all of your projects and in life in general. I’m looking at some car issues, but I might be able to fix it myself, I can do anything, except love myself, hahaha!



There is love in your body and you can’t get it out, its stuck in your head wont come out of your mouth.”