I might take tonight off, I really don’t want to, writing, will have to take a back seat if I cannot find a suitable topic, and any perceived mental illness on my part shouldn’t be a suitable topic. What I can say is that I am on the road to locating the source of my malaise. I have been depressed for over a decade, and as far as I can tell its based on two main “seeds”, one is Christos, and that is reflected by my love of my duty. Also, because of this, I had missed out on the war in the desert. I oftentimes reflect on this thought, and realize I would come back maimed, worse, or not back at all, which, to a true warrior is the best fate at all. I respect the armed forces, but I wish they would work with the public on working with the “corrupt” governing bodies. On the topic, I as an individual cannot comment on it because I am too preoccupied with dealing with my problem (lack of Christos?) to come to a real decision on theirs. I will say that there if certain large companies forget that their workers are human beings, then that responsibility HAS to fall on the governing body, if that body is too corrupt, then the penultimate institution would be the Church which can protect against the madness of an Anarchistic Libertarian Conglomerate of States, it would be cool to see armed “security” forces become like knights, but the reality of it trumps any romantic notion.


On the salvation of the church as a more viable institution, if Pope Francis were to allow the Gnostics back some REAL work can get done. This would possibly cost him his life, but he is a soldier, and real life is the Battlefield of Battlefields. I don’t know how much the Gnostics are hated in the church other than the title of heretics, but we live in a new age of forgiveness and alien baptizing, which should have been a given, seeing as how Christendom’s Ace is Jesus, which the more I study under Him (I use that more as a metaphor). I arrived at the idea of Christos through self examination based on literal interpretation. There are few times the Bible has a few sobering moments of reality, the rest of the time its metaphors and guidance strictly for the Hebrews (OT), where as we Catholics (Universal) and our “wayward” siblings, the other Christians get the Hebrews struggle and then some, condensed into four books. Or one, it would be cool if you read at least four very short books, but those four are just different accounts of the same man and his attempt to end his depression by liberating a peoples that were ready for it. Well, almost, but once again we are at the cusp of a new age, where economic collapse is the least of our concerns. Technological advancement is the current course, and that I do agree with as compromise with a “shadowy” contingent of powerful men that I would also like to assume are facing the same imminent threat as the public are, its just they are in the best position to slow the chaos, that being said I do hope and pray for Ukraine, Crimea, and Russias safety. I would like to see Putin change his strategy to that of the modern warrior and accomplish his true goal which he would need the support of the public by opening his heart. Putin is trying to represent his country’s incredibly strong willed people, which is capable of being like US, but neither I, nor any other Russian would want that, something equivalent using its strong hand waayyy more appropriately than us or even myself.


My country gets the deal with chaos because of the amount of refuse it created in every sense of the word, other countries have to be warned that America is capable of cleansing itself because it has a group within it that has been tasked for this very purpose. I don’t know if that organization’s true purpose is a real thing, but I would have done that a long time ago if I were the Founding Fathers. My frail form and “spiritual” distraction has aged me out of that organizations service, but here I am. I don’t like how Christos has brought me along a new found mystics path. Almost twelve years ago, I sought out to do damage to and strip myself of my humanity so I could seek out Wisdom. I became a miserable human being as wisdom demands I do something daily, other than feel sorry for myself. I also was distracted and other than these vague from throughout my life this unfocused life was causing a turmoil started by the belief that I cannot draw; and after today’s “comic” I would agree with that statement, God I really really really hate that strip. I will do something about it in the future, as for now, it still contains crucial storyline that gives me a personal greater sense of purpose/accomplishment, and creative fulfillment as I move towards accomplishing this goal. Writing this script has me leap towards those ultimate goal(s). In the meantime, I am telling a brand new “even to me” story that I for some reason cannot future write because this work is so therapeutic to me. Real work and the lack of proper support in real life are adding more and more complications, at the same time I haven’t finished cleaning the darker corners of my past that I wish to come to terms with and forgive. It might be with me for the rest of the life, which is the great unknown, especially when other than wearing a uniform and a badge I am not qualified to do anything else, so I cartoon until I am qualified to do what I love. I want to publish more strips even if they are are as bad this piece o’ crap, but life and its Creator comprise both good and bad, so to shall this site (for now).


My schedule is doing a weird thing, even though my roving days are over, I love doing these special assignments. This is also why I will never be promoted, my over abundance of energy and mental disordered state makes me perfect to for these tasks, and cartooning! I wish you good mental and physical health, and of course success for all of your works.



I’m not afraid to fall, i’m not afraid to lose it all.