I am getting much more comfortable with using my wacom.  Which makes the next step easier, but still something to deal with.  The anxiety of such a task.  Really the anxiety makes me feel like I am fraud, yet my desktop, all my stuff online, and more, I did them.  They were for me.   You don’t want to read about the promises… it was simple.  I was to remain here, and be quiet, and watch the world fall apart around me.  I could help, but how?  I must first learn to peer into my own darkness to see what everyone else was seeing; then and only then would I be able to do something.

Which is why Tikkun Olam fit perfectly, but those whom I wanted to share this good news with did not want to move forward into the future.  Or, I am just suffering from a confirmation bias.  It’s hard to tell these days.  How long have the newsmen been lying to us?  They are the ones that were supposed to tell us to focus, and instead, it was found that the institution would last longer than the founding principles of a free press.  There is no complete freedom unless its found in a state of zen.

Ten plus years have I feasted upon wisdom so that I may glance upon the gods that cause my self, and humanity to move. There is so much that I cannot tell you because you could not accept all that I have accepted without losing your mind.  This is why the Cthulthu mythos intrigued me beyond any other science fiction, because one had to fight to keep ones sanity, whereas with a monad, there was only a fight to embrace insanity.

Is belief in God insanity?  Normally no.  Its a humbling necessity for evolution.  That belief is best when it each individual is free to find out what it is comprised of.  Such that a smart person can imagine what another is feeling in order to react appropriately, the collective of all the thoughts (including our own) are held in the “mind” of something much greater.

Technology exposes this a prori when one understands that a machine is running the program.  The device houses it, but the reason why it is used by many is not because of the technology itself, but what is on it.  Each user running their own instance of a shared operating system, or set of parameters.

Technology is the religion of tangibles.  It allows us to recreate anything we wish in order to serve a purpose.  That purpose is not sacrosanct, but it is not created in a vacuum either.  That purpose or intent is the result of all of the others decisions willed upon the creator(s) of that program.

Philosophy is the religion of the intangible.  It is born entirely from the interactions between individuals who are keen enough to realize it.  It can also be abused such as anything else, and I am one of its chiefmost abusers of philosophy.  I was allowed to be in a position to go after wisdom and only wisdom.  I had to create my own rules, based entirely off the various Gods I encountered.  No God could fulfill my desire.  Wisdom could be found in all things, in each and every  moment.  The amount of wisdom in any given moment is as infinte as the source of it.

What is the source of wisdom?  Since philosophy came after technology, and technology was humanities only way to survive, the however all of the time/space/matter/other came into being so we could recognize it is due to something much larger than us.  Only when one is alone does one realize that he is never truly alone, because his perception is that link to consciousness that makes us question that moment.

Some of us are better at answering that question than others.  I am terrible at it, because I choose the cowards path.  Others have decided to take on parts that far from avatars of virtue, but they still try to make the world a better place.  I wish them the best of luck, and stay out of their way.  I also try to speak out and remind humanity about certain parts that it doesn’t want to face.   This is also me trying to face this same entity.

My fear foretells the age of man.  When I am ready to return back to the church, it will not be under their terms.  Over the years I have not softened in this regard.  From those who claim they are of the one God of all things, the Creator of all of this, Hashem, Adonai or the true name                                , I have much against the shepards.  I am only thirty two years old, and a philosopher, but unless there is some greater evil being hidden, the land that was loaned to you, will be given back to the one that loaned it.

The tree must be shaken and pruned.  Many branches have become sick and will only be good when burned for warmth, and then the ashes can be used to fertilize what remains.  A people, my people have left kicked out because you wanted to rule in the name of that which created you.  For a long time I wondered why, and now I know, its because your transgressions were supposed to glorify your sadistic gluttony.  Your tax shelters were investments in the same gods of chaos that my people sought shelter from.

Of a truth, if my Rabbi were to return, without the propaganda you kill him again.  I can smell your blood, and it is the same who traded a teacher for a killer.  Which one was worst to an administration of fear?  What God gave you the right to choose death over Love?  Does a Rabbi teach out of hate or love?  Do my people preach chaos, or do they seek refuge from it?

Adonai is greater than the Torah, the Talmud, or any midrash.  Did the Torahs message need to be abandoned when you gained so much?  My people once handed you their world so that you may help them to find that which created both of you.  Instead I see the same mouth pieces of chaos in the state and upon the altar.

The country in which I live, knows that even though I can never claim allegiance to anything because that spot is reserved for Adonai.  He is the God of the Hebrews, yes, and also the God of all Things, I can have no need of anything else except to fix the world.  The country I live in, is currently under assault by old gods, in an a metaphysical sense, but as existential baggage.

I am far from perfect, and the amount of eyes and ears are many, yet none of them are above another, they are all beholden to ones who sit behind them and give them their current power.  How much longer until poor management takes its toll on others.  It has on me.  As a citizen in the greatest nation on the earth at this time, I am subjected to the laws made by companies of men who care only for profit, and old religions that the rest of the world had conquered.

For a while now, I had the idea that this land in which I currently stand has an important task for humanity.  Its current system of power is not only centralized, but that seat is broken up into tyrannical aspects of our old selves.  The rest of the world is ready to move on, but because of certain events, the world is held back in fear.

My beloved may be humanity, but there will always be a piece of me that will want to keep Judaism alive, just not at the expense of others.  It would be unfair to let my faith cloud any judgement even upon my self so that I may better see in the darkness of the human abyss.  There are many chasms one may fall into, and there are many reasons to do so.  I, like many others made my own depression.  There are many like it, but this is mine.

Its not without its own danger.  I have no guide other than my intuition.  There are many things in Judaism that resonate well with my intuition and make me feel good, but I still analyze all that Hashem has given me.  I have ruined life because of it.  I can never truly leave this depression, and there are others things to. Things to help me not only navigate, but place anchors of sorts.  Of a truth, there is only one can save me from this, it is my self, but there is another who I look for.  I was told to go to the Temple and she would be there.  She was calling for me to return.  I had never been a Jew, I am now, because I am done looking around for a new people.

Luckily my country is something that allows faith, to a point.  At one time a founding principle was to keep religion of government separate, but the interloper could not thrive unless that was abandoned.  Such that the interloper had abandoned its own principles in order to attain such a place, the solution would be organized chaos.

The interloper is an old force.  To put it in perspective, there have been entire bloodlines that have been turned into soil for this cause.  A long lasting generation can have deep roots, but still is not immune to the same destruction they have unleashed.  All men are equal.  In the past the long generation would be the only source of truth.  Monarchies.

The Pharaoh, or Caesar, Popes, or King ruled by divine right.

Governments ruled by divine right.

Businesses, ruled by divine right.

Now, technology rules by divine right.

It is easy for me to say that Hashems Grace is that divine right, but I am just a man who enjoys the mystical side of life.  If I cannot create my comics, or write my many novels.  Art kicks my ass, it is very hard for me, because I prefer something even more abstract.

The Day of the Rope may indeed come, but first mankind must be repaired.  Since neither the King, nor the Government, nor the Business has to be an antiChristic identity, then it is up to those who feel the call in their hearts to serve the in the duty of taking back the church in placing it back in the hands of the people.  Gods people, who have no need or time for petty judgement of morals.  They have a necessary technological zen state to maintain so that those who need to stay awhile can find the sanctuary that was with them since the beginning.

Such as a tyrants sanctuary is his dominion, Gods dominion is all things, but His Love can have greatest power if focused only what is necessary.  Not all rulers are tyrants, but no tyrant has any divine right.  Love will ultimately lead to Justice.