I’m not the only one who holds himself back.  Plenty of others do it, does that make it ok?  Temporarily I tell myself that it is ok.  Humanity expects more from itself, from me, who happens to be a part of it.  Growing up in the swamp I didn’t have many guides through philosophy, it felt like a solitary journey.  I did not trust another, I was dealing with my own mental poison, trying to liberate myself from the patterns of the past.  What I didn’t realize is that, those patterns exist, they can help, but as of now they are used to weigh humanity down.

I’ve always wanted faith to liberate me; not just wisdom.  A lot of the problems stem from my interacting with humanity, when I leave my apartment, when I witness what non-mystics, non-philosophers do with life.  I try to bring them to my level, but they did not want what I wanted.  In this area.. very few want it.

There have been thoughts of mine, in the past, that warned me about the life I, we, are living now.  When I was much younger, I thought about the future, and in some (then) distant time, I would be held back, by a force I thought was separate.  A darker force.  An enemy is needed.  Back then I believed my fellow man was my greatest enemy, or some kind of “demonic” power that had extreme influence over man.  No longer would wisdom or correctness be sought, but men would fight to keep other men in the darkness of confusion, not really knowing what was going on, but they did was felt right.

This is why existential fault cannot rest on the individual, but in the leaders that are there to guide us into the next age, as it stands our leaders have failed us, and have murdered others who wish to Shepard us into the next age.  We are, beginning with the Great Reset, but we cannot continue with it IF we bring along our past as baggage.  The past is history unless its repeated.

I have many thoughts and feelings I wish to write down, and this post, that piece of art, and conversations are the start of this new year.   I used to be paranoid and think there was a grand conspiracy against me, now I realize I created my own conspiracy, and if anyone was actually against me (aside from the artists of propaganda) I would react accordingly.  I can react better when I am in a more controlled state, where I have complete control over my thoughts and actions.

There is so much I want to tell you, but I am not ready yet.  In time, yes.  As of now, I need to focus on starting Tikkun Olam.  I know what to do, I am sad that I cannot do it with the one I want, but of course I must realize that I can do it with someone better.

Intuition has to a good guide.  I refuse to listen to it when I am trying to gratify myself.

One of the greatest faults of the Millennial is that we lack the delayed gratification.  We must fight harder to obtain proper discipline, but the good news is, once achieved we will fully understand more of our purpose.   There is another problem, the generation after us.. they are most like sheep.  They need good leaders otherwise, we will be MUCH worse off than we are now.  I want to continue, but now is not the time.

Good luck and success with all of your projects.